Paternity leave uptake has been gradually increasing in the United States, reflecting changing attitudes toward parenting and work-life balance. Paid paternity leave specifically saw a 5-percentage-point jump from 2022 and is now offered by 32 percent of employers within the US according to a SHRM’s report. While the availability and usage of paternity leave can vary by industry, company size, and individual circumstances, more and more dads have the ability to take time off with their little ones during their first year of life.
In addition, over the last few years I’ve noticed an increase in fathers taking some of their paternity leave in order to prioritize sleep for their families. Care has a long history of being highly gendered, with unpaid care work falling mostly on the shoulders of women, but the tides are shifting. According to The Pew Research on Social and Demographic Trends reports fathers have more than doubled their time spent on housework and child care in the last 50 years. So while we have a lot of work to do in the US on the parental leave front, I’m happy to see even these small changes occurring!
Research also tells us that the majority of babies can independently can sleep through the night (in 6-8 hour blocks) by 6 months of age. Therefore doing sleep training between 5-6 months can be of great benefit! Many dads are using the time moms are going back to work, post-maternity leave, to sleep train their babies and prioritize sleep for the whole family.
Most recently I worked with a client who used part of his paternity leave to make sleep changes and we got to chat about how he organized it all. Read below on what paternity leave was like for this new dad and how the sleep training process helped his family!
1) How long did you get for paternity leave and when did you use your time?
I did not have any protected paternity time from my job. I am a physician, and a partner at my practice. Unfortunately, as a small business, we do not have protected paternity time. That being said, I took the full allotment of my days off and combined that with full FMLA benefits (Virginia’s policy here). This ended up being about 2 1/2 months total. I took around two months off at the time of the birth of our son. I’ve been use the remainder of the time at the conclusion of my wife’s maternity time. This worked well for us. Being available when our son was born, was not only necessary, but a wonderful experience for all three of us. And using my remaining time at the conclusion of my wife’s maternity leave really helped ease the transition.
2) What has been your experience regarding other new dads in the workplace? Are others taking paternity leave as well?
My other partners are at least 8-10 years older than me, and coming from that era, none of them really took much if any time off, unfortunately. At first, I did get some looks when I said how much time I would be gone. But eventually it was accepted that this was what I was going to do, and eventually, I think they realized this was a good thing, honestly, they were probably a little bit jealous that they couldn’t take time when their were children were born. Now, having gone through it, I really don’t know how I would have been able to function at home or at work without taking the time off.
3) When it came to deciding to use some of your parental leave for sleep training, what were some of the reasons behind taking the time to focus on sleep?
We did the sleep training during my second portion of time off. This was purposeful, as my wife and I knew that the training would likely impact both of our sleep schedules in a negative way for a period of time. It ended up being the right decision, as having the time off to really focus on family time, including the sleep training, was paramount.
4) What was your experience like as a Dad throughout the sleep training process?
My wife and I approach parenting as an equal partnership, as much as we can. So the responsibility lies on both of us equally. I really don’t view myself as a dad, more just as a parent, and as such, I have to do my part to help raise our son, including doing sleep training. I think both of our experiences were similar, there were challenges, but overall this was the right thing to do, and the right time to do it. It end up being better for all three of us…. All four of us if you count our dog 🙂
I really don’t view myself as a dad, more just as a parent, and as such, I have to do my part to help raise our son, including doing sleep training. There were challenges, but overall this was the right thing to do, and the right time to do it.
Nested Sleep Dad of 6 month old
5) What would you tell other dads when they are considering when to take paternity leave? Can you compare the time you took when your child was a newborn compared to now?
I really don’t think it would be possible for us to have done this without me being home fully available, not working. It’s amazing to me that the normal pattern was that dad did not take time off in years past. The newborn phase is wonderful, but can be a grueling process at times, a lot of that has to do with the sleep schedule or lack of. I would encourage every new dad to take off as much time as humanly possible and feasible. You won’t regret it!
If you or your family want to sleep train during your paternity leave (or anytime) please reach out and book a free 15-minute discovery call to connect!
References: Pennestri, M. H., Laganière, C., Bouvette-Turcot, A. A., Pokhvisneva, I., Steiner, M., Meaney, M. J., Gaudreau, H., & Mavan Research Team (2018). Uninterrupted Infant Sleep, Development, and Maternal Mood. Pediatrics, 142(6), e20174330.
